42: A dedication to you.

Friday, 27 March 2015


I've a very special person in mind. That person's almost on my mind 24/7 and would probably be in my heart (hopefully) forever. I've been getting questions about this person because some of you taktau dia siapa. So... his name is Syafiq. I call him Nano. Secara kebetulannya nama saya pulak Nana. Purely coincidence sebab Nano was his nickname since high school while mine pun since sekolah la jugak. Anyway, we've known eachother since matrics because we were in the same practicum. I actually never really took notice in him because I was always too wrapped up in my own world because I wanted to do my best in matrics, which I did. We were in the same biology experiment group and I looked up to him as a very good friend and a trustworthy companion. Some people don't like his presence because they would say that he has a very 'garang' type of face and is very kasar. But I can tell you that he has the most cutest smile with the most perfect teeth :-)

From the start, he would always send me messages, asking me what homework we have to do. Sometimes if I didn't go to class sebab sakit, he would always always be the first person to ask me what was wrong. There was this one night he messaged me while he was outside and I told him, "Tak takut ke keluar malam-malam ni? Ada kes pocong tau." (seriously) Then he replied, "Eh kau ni, aku kan batman." So starting from that I frequently refer to him as Batman. KMNS's Batman xD On my birthday in 2013, he was the first person to wish me happy birthday and I was surprised. Petang tu pulak, he bought me a bar of chocolate and even melutut time nak bagi. Merah gila muka iolls. And yet I never acknowledged how much he cared about me from the start. I didn't give him any respond. What was I supposed to say? Malu. So then we started to drift off from eachother sampai la the 2nd semester. I felt like I lost a friend and I didn't know why. I tried to talk to Nano in class and he would ignore me. I even told my friend, "Weh, Nano taknak cakap ngan aku. Aku taktau kenapa."

Saturday 22nd February 2014, at approximately 12:30am, he messaged me.

"Weh, aku ada benda nak cakap."
"Apa dia?"
"Aku suka kau."

I screamed. Hahahahahahahaha. I never noticed that he liked me even after all the attention I got from him from the first semester. Only then I realised, he never once raised his voice when talking to me, he would always listen to what I would say and follow my instructions during an experiment. So it was very awkward at first. We bumped into eachother dekat library and even made eye contact but I quickly turned my head around. Malu. Takut. Segan. I asked him why? "Sebab kau cool time buat experiment darah...." LOL. EXCITING!

On the following Thursday 27th Feb 2014, I went to the toilet at night. My room was just in front of the toilet. As I was walking into a jamban cubicle, I heard a voice saying "Assalamualaikumm..." from a distance. Macam in front of my room. So I thought, ada orang jual-jual barang kot. Since it was an unfamilliar voice. I walked back in, my roommates were making faces and there was something on my study table. A gift. Minggu tu ada macam karnival budak akaun and ada practicum buat servis hantar hadiah kat orang. I got a huge package of chocolates. It wasn't that huge la, but it was still a lot for me to finish on my own. There was a note. On the back said, "pakej a + b + c + d" meaning it was a combo package xD Inside, wrote: "To: Nazihah Anuar. From: Batman." I screamed agaaaaaain. Hahahahahahaha.

The day after was the actual day of the carnival. I kinda asked Nano to go to the carnival with me. Macam nak buat ice-breaking session. But to this day I refer to it as our first actual date together. We walked to the stalls. Nano nak belikan sushi tapi semua habis kena reserve. Then kitorang berbaris untuk masuk rumah hantu alongside our friend Azzah. It was a veeeery long line. I wanted to take turns with him to stay in the line but he insisted that he wanted to stay in the line. There was this one part where we stood beside eachother and accidentally made eye contact which made my heart flutter. I thought to myself don't fall in love. But I did.

After that day our relationship gradually became better. We didn't make it official because I didn't tell him that I've started to like him too. Sometimes after class we would eat lunch together or take a stroll and eat ice cream. Nothing romantic really. Cakap macam kawan, gelak macam kawan. But I felt like I had a friend I could trust, and I felt protected. Then our classmates started to become curious about our relationship and wanted to know why we're starting to be very close to eachother.
Fast forward to a month later, things started to get a little bad. It was the week of our second last biology experiment and we worked in pairs to dissect a mouse. I paired up with Nano. I was very cranky one day and tiba-tiba he whatsapped me saying that he didn't trust me. I was like why? He explained that although he enjoyed our times together he was just wondering why I wanted to be close to him but it's not like we were in a relationship or anything. That kinda set me off and I told him that I only want to friends and am not ready to be in a relationship. He took it the wrong way and yada yada yada finally I told him that I like him. No shit, I really like you. Only then he was like ooooooh.

And things got better.

We started studying together. He was lacking in computer science so I taught him programming from start to finish. Tak tinggal sikit pun. I enjoy the long talks I have with Nano. He was one of my most trustworthy companions. He was my protector, my partner. We somehow created a foundation that was very strong. We made it official on the 2nd April 2014 :)

The thing is, matrics was starting to end and we were going to be separated for a long long time. He stays in Johor, while I stayed in Selangor. We counted the days to the 28th April 2014 where we finally said our goodbyes. It was rough. I was relieved about finishing matrics... tapi cinta awal-awal kan. I cried a lot and missed him tonnes. I have to stop writing now. I am writing all of this just to remind myself that I am lucky to have someone like Mohammad Syafiq Jailani. Ye, he's very garang & very strict. Very protective and very very sweet. He helped me come back to my feet when I was in a pool of problems and all I want for him is a happy life and hopefully complete him. I want to get married and have children with him. He is my most important source of inspiration and motivation besides my family. I love him very much and am proud to be his girlfriend for almost a year now. I hope things will get better from now on.

Sayonara.

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